18 March, 2006

Repeat run

I've always been far more of a morning person than an evening one, but the practice of getting up and all ready for work, only to have to slump back into a stupor for the half hour Underground ride to the office, is really taking it out of me.

It's not natural to have to go through the business of effectively waking yourself up twice in less than an hour. All the effort of doing it once and being out of the flat in time for the train is completely undone by the way I then have no choice but to sit hunched up in a ball for 30 minutes. The enforced hiatus encourages me to shut down again, both mentally and physically.

I've always got a book with me by way of trying to use the time productively, but some mornings (and evenings) I'm too tired to even move my eye over a printed page. Then, after unwillingly lulling myself back into a catatonic state, I have to all of a sudden rouse myself and fight my way out of the Underground and back into daylight. My limbs ache, I'm always shivering, there are people all around pushing and prodding, the noise is appalling...and by the time I've made it, gasping, into fresh air, I'm so knackered all I want to do is, yes, go back to bed again. Hopeless.

I wonder if the same circumstances afflicts other travellers. I guess most people have got used to the lurch between extremes of stupor and mania. I should probably try getting off the train a stop or two earlier and using the longer walk to give myself more time to try and wake myself up. Assuming I can remember how to make my legs work for that long.


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