Them upstairs
More management madness. This has to be one of the most poorly-written, ill-advised and petulant memos I've ever had the misfortune to receive:
Dear All,
As you are aware, there going to be some big changes to the way we work at xxxx in the lead up to our move in the New Year. To ensure that the changes go smoothly, please take the time to read the following information detailing important dates, sources of information and contact details.
DATES FOR YOUR DIARY
2nd & 3rd Floors
Friday 2nd June: All desks on floors 2 & 3 must be void of any personal effects, leaving the existing monitor, wired keyboard and mouse.
Monday 5th June: All desks on these floors will have been transferred to hotdesks over the weekend ready for use by all Monday morning.
1st Floor
Friday 9th June: All desks on the 1st floor must be void of any personal effects, leaving the existing monitor, wired keyboard and mouse.
Monday 12th June: All desks on the floor will have been transferred to hotdesks over the weekend ready for use by all Monday morning.
Things to do before the changeover
Clear your desk of all personal belongings.
Contact xxxx for blue bins for rubbish or to arrange termination of unwanted IT equipment.
Put your business card in the business card holder on your pedestal for easy identification. (These will be stuck on for you over the coming days).
Transfer your telephone numbers from your desk phone to your mobile.
Email signatures need to be modified to include only your mobile number.
Voicemail messages should include your mobile number.
Business cards will need to be reprinted including your mobile number.
Update your personal details in the GAL, referencing the swithcboard number as your direct dial and your mobile number below.
Many thanks
The Project Ivy Team
So basically I have to "void" my desk of everything. This includes my phone, and because I don't have an office mobile I won't be able to ring anybody anymore and nobody can ring me. I don't have a business card either, so I can't put it in the business card holder. To be honest, I don't even think I'll have a computer on Monday morning. And what the fuck does Project Ivy mean? I thought the chief virtue of ivy was that it was able to flourish in one place, not have to flit about the place from hour to hour never knowing where to put down its roots.
It's madness. Utter madness. And all the while the big bosses in America wonder why their corporation has such a poor public profile.
Dear All,
As you are aware, there going to be some big changes to the way we work at xxxx in the lead up to our move in the New Year. To ensure that the changes go smoothly, please take the time to read the following information detailing important dates, sources of information and contact details.
DATES FOR YOUR DIARY
2nd & 3rd Floors
Friday 2nd June: All desks on floors 2 & 3 must be void of any personal effects, leaving the existing monitor, wired keyboard and mouse.
Monday 5th June: All desks on these floors will have been transferred to hotdesks over the weekend ready for use by all Monday morning.
1st Floor
Friday 9th June: All desks on the 1st floor must be void of any personal effects, leaving the existing monitor, wired keyboard and mouse.
Monday 12th June: All desks on the floor will have been transferred to hotdesks over the weekend ready for use by all Monday morning.
Things to do before the changeover
Clear your desk of all personal belongings.
Contact xxxx for blue bins for rubbish or to arrange termination of unwanted IT equipment.
Put your business card in the business card holder on your pedestal for easy identification. (These will be stuck on for you over the coming days).
Transfer your telephone numbers from your desk phone to your mobile.
Email signatures need to be modified to include only your mobile number.
Voicemail messages should include your mobile number.
Business cards will need to be reprinted including your mobile number.
Update your personal details in the GAL, referencing the swithcboard number as your direct dial and your mobile number below.
Many thanks
The Project Ivy Team
So basically I have to "void" my desk of everything. This includes my phone, and because I don't have an office mobile I won't be able to ring anybody anymore and nobody can ring me. I don't have a business card either, so I can't put it in the business card holder. To be honest, I don't even think I'll have a computer on Monday morning. And what the fuck does Project Ivy mean? I thought the chief virtue of ivy was that it was able to flourish in one place, not have to flit about the place from hour to hour never knowing where to put down its roots.
It's madness. Utter madness. And all the while the big bosses in America wonder why their corporation has such a poor public profile.
posted by Alistair Myles at 9:45 pm
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