11 January, 2006

File under...

Somewhat ironic given the circumstances, we're all having to move offices at work this week.

My department's location is shifting from a prime site on the ground floor right by the front entrance a stone's throw from the canteen, to the very end of the longest corridor on the top floor at the arse end of nowhere. Anyone looking for clues as to our present status within the management's mindset would have a field day. Or rather they wouldn't, because it'd only take a couple of seconds. You see - you've worked it out already.

As it is the move has meant I've had to spend most of the week so far packing cardboxes boxes rather than doing anything more taxing, which is no bad thing. It's also unearthed various peculiar and singular items I never knew were housed under our roof. Expect some of the following to turn up on eBay all too soon:

- an A-Z of Cumbria, published 1995; nobody in our office has ever been to Cumbria

- a metal-tipped walking stick

- 'Freak Or Unique: a biography of Chris Evans'; delete the 'Or Unique' and you'd be bang on

- four pristine copies of a book about psychic therapy by some local mystic or other; surely he'd have been able to foretell nobody would ever want to read them?

- The Guardian Media Guide 1998; I've already nicked this once from the office, so how come it's still there?

- one bauble; I think this was put up as a token Christmas decoration in 2002

- a photo of Fenella from Chorlton And The Wheelies; there used to be someone in the office who looked like her but who everyone hated

- a swanee whistle

- a tatty giant-sized wall map of the London Underground; neither use nor ornament, it being too large to carry around and too battered to display properly

- thousands of blank CD cases minus CDs

- a calendar entitled 'Echo's (sic) Of Liverpool'; if there's one thing worse than sentimental calendars it's misspelt sentimental calendars

- a scratched CD by The Houghton Weavers

Any takers?


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